Pigeon Update!

Hey everyone!  I know that it has been a while since I last wrote and so I think that it is a great time to give you all what I know you have been long waiting for: a pigeon update.

The Pigeon King continues to disrupt my sleep and scare the crap out of me.

Following my first blog post about the Pigeon King, my friend Jessica stayed the night and, gearing up for that night, I though, Perfect!  She will finally hear him and then I won’t be alone and crazy sounding and someone else will understand my fear!  I’m going to leave this window air conditioner in the window even though it is cold out because it will help her to hear the terrible death coos! And then the Pigeon King promptly disappeared for two days. Radio silence.  Jessica spent the night and nothing happened.  While this may not have proved anything to her, it proved something to me: the Pigeon King was on to me.  He knew that I knew about him.

This got me to thinking.  And I realized that in the week leading up to this moment, I had run across a lot of dead pigeons in my path.  First, there was one waiting for me as I walked down the stairs from the train on my way to work.  Then, the next day, there was a dead, headless pigeon on the sidewalk outside of my apartment.  Finally, there was a day when I got to work to find a pigeon squashed on the street in front of the store.  These memories lead me to an epiphany.  The Pigeon King wanted to warn me.  He wanted to show me my fate and let me know what happened to pigeons (and by extension, other living beings) that got in his way.

My friends tried to calm me down and convince me that everything would be alright.  The following conversation took place over a group text:

Jessica: “When I tell your story on TAL I’ll be sure to mention that we named all of those night pigeons who tried to protect you from the Pigeon King.  We knew they were the good ones.”

Abi: “We should find a way to aid the pigeon rebellion.”

I was feeling pretty good about this until I realized that the fate of those three pigeons could be the fate of my friends!  No one is safe from the Pigeon King.  So that started panicking me.  And then I received the following text from my brother: “I just realized that I started to write a plat some years back about a monarchical giant pigeon society that would abduct people and make them do their bidding.  I hope that doesn’t happen to you.”  What the hell?  Since when could he tell the future!?  This is all too crazy weird.

Finally, a week or so later, Jessica spent the night again.  And this time she heard the terrible, scary noises!  The air conditioner is gone from the window but it turns out that he is so aggressively loud that you can hear him with exactly the same clarity through glass!  And, since I have removed the cardboard which was the easy way into the room, he has taken to throwing himself against the window, making this amazingly frightening large crashing noise.  And Jessica experienced it all. I interviewed her about her experiences and this was her response:  “We went to bed at like 3am, probably more like 3:30am, and he was outside the window, flapping his way outside the window… like repeatedly against the window.  It felt like he would hit the window and then go down the windowsill and then come back, squawking very loudly… I’m not sure I exactly know what a pigeon usually sounds like regularly but it sounded aggressive.  It woke me up.”  And, she let it be known that she feared for her life.  So take that, world!  I’m not crazy!  At least, not about this.

I would also like to mention, before I end this post, that my friend Sarah told me that I should make a radio piece about this.  So I have been trying to record the sounds the King Pigeon makes but he either gets really quiet when I start recording or the recordings come back just sounding like static.  So, he can see through blinds and he has control over electronic devices.  Clearly those are the only possibilities of what is happening here.

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